


when rivalry blossoms

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-26
Updated: 2008-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-03 08:12:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12744435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Johnny has finally decided to embark on the BL capital, and there’s no question as to who is the most likely pair. Except to them.





	when rivalry blossoms

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. embedded fanart by maayacola.

Jin shifts uncomfortably while Yamapi stares shell-shocked. “Come again?”

“You two,” Johnny says firmly, “will be staring in a BL drama next season.”

It doesn’t sound any different this time. Jin considers cleaning his ears right there in Johnny’s office until Yamapi clears his throat and sits straighter in his chair. “Thank you for the opportunity, I’ll do my best.”

Jin gapes at him. “ _What_. You’re okay with this?”

“They’re audio,” Yamapi says with no feeling. “We’ll be voice actors.”

The resulting sigh from Jin seems to empty both of his lungs. “Oh, then I’ll do my best too. Thank you.”

“Wait,” says Johnny, holding up a steady hand. “It’s not just audio.”

Simultaneously, Jin and Yamapi both freeze.

“It’s more of an SP, actually,” Johnny tells him. “Twice the length of a Western movie. Definitely live-action.”

“Live-action,” Jin repeats, his mind spinning at the thought of doing a love scene with _Yamapi_. “Exactly what would we be expected to… I mean…”

“Is there a kissing scene?” Yamapi asks bluntly, emotionless. Jin stares in awe at his friend’s professionalism.

Johnny clears his throat. “About that, I feel that it would be best not to do anything too _drastic_ for our initial debut in this genre -”

Jin makes a face, sparing a brief thought of pity for the _next_ pair of Johnny’s who have to do this.

“- but there will be kissing scenes, yes. Everything else will be edited to _allude_ and then fade to black.”

Jin suddenly has a headache. “Do I have to?”

The look on Johnny’s face answers his question. “It has to be you two. The director agreed to use my agency under those circumstances.”

“All right,” Yamapi says decidedly.

Again, Jin gapes at him. “ _Pi_?”

Yamapi rolls his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. It’s work.”

“Good attitude,” Johnny tells him. “Besides, the compensation will be that of two lead roles put together, not to mention the _publicity_ -”

“I’m in,” agreed Jin, conveniently ignoring Yamapi’s slight scoff.

Johnny claps his hands satisfactorily. “The scripts will be delivered to you both later this week. Dismissed.”

::

“ _When Rivalry Blossoms_?” Jin whines, flipping through the script until he finds what Ryo has dubbed The Good Part. “That doesn’t even make sense!”

“Sure it does,” Yamapi says calmly as he concentrates on reading his script from beginning to end just like it was any other script. “We play rivals who are forced to work together. The ‘blossoming’ refers to you finding me irresistible.”

Jin raises an eyebrow.

“Your character, I mean,” Yamapi corrects, very obviously biting the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing.

“I’m glad you find this so amusing,” Jin tells him.

“Oh, come on,” Yamapi says, leaning over to swat Jin in the head with his script. “You act like we’re having sex on screen or something. This is no worse than how you kissed your mother when you were young.”

“I never kissed my mother on the lips!” Jin practically squeals. “You did?”

Yamapi finally looks up, fixing Jin with an odd look. “You didn’t?”

“No!” Jin makes a face. “And nobody I know did either.”

“Huh,” Yamapi says thoughtfully. “I didn’t either, but Takki said -”

Jin bursts out into laughter, falling to his side on the couch and patting Yamapi comfortingly on the knee. “You always were his favorite.”

Yamapi frowns and folds his arms. “You know, I felt a lot better about this _before_ you ruined it for me.”

“Me?” Jin repeats, sitting back up and shoving The Good Part into Yamapi’s face. “How would you feel if this were me and your sister?”

He watches as Yamapi’s eyes scan the page, narrowing as he continues and finally looking away. “You’ve made your point, Jin.”

Jin smiles smugly.

Yamapi scoffs. “It says ‘Kimura kisses Harito awkwardly’.”

“Which one am I again?” Jin wonders out loud, returning to his seat and flipping back to the cast page.

Yamapi rolls his eyes. “Did you not even look at it? Or just skipped to the first kissing scene?”

Jin does his best not to look guilty.

“ _You_ are Kimura Keisuke,” Yamapi tells him. “ _You_ have to kiss _me_.”

“ _Why_?” Jin whines, covering his face with his script. “Why can’t _you_ , the boy-kissing expert, be the one to do it?”

Yamapi actually snorts, and he’s smiling when Jin raises his eyes to look at him. “Because, Jin, this is the story of two actors who are cast in a BL drama together.”

Jin drops his script. “ _What_.”

“At this rate,” Yamapi goes on, returning to his own script that’s about halfway through, “you won’t really have to act at all. It should be your best performance.”

It takes a second for that comment to reach Jin’s brain. “Hey, wait a minute -”

“Jin,” Yamapi cuts him off. “I take every project seriously, no matter how stupid you may think it is. As my co-star, you need to do the same or we’re going to have problems.”

In response, Jin picks up his script and starts from the beginning. He doesn’t voice it out loud, but he’s pretty sure that they already have problems.

::

It’s embarrassing the way everybody is staring at him, looking like he’s making the walk of shame down the main hallway of Johnny’s building. It must have been announced, he figures. His manager usually lets him know when these kinds of things are run in the magazines, but this time his manager wasn’t even involved. It was an assignment straight from Johnny.

Applause greets him when he walks into the KAT-TUN practice room, and on impulse he bows. “Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.”

Ueda looks unimpressed. “Think you can keep your mind off of your boyfriend long enough to work?”

Jin gives him the finger.

Kame’s face looks like he’s been laughing for a good number of hours, having stopped only right before Jin walked into the room. “Be gentle with him, Akanishi. He doesn’t like being pushed away.”

Suppressing his strong urge to punch Kame (which is sadly a daily occurrence), he tosses his bag in the corner and gets started on warm-up stretches. “What are you going on about?”

Kame’s dramatic sigh reminds him of a teenage girl. “ _Nobuta_ was practically a BL drama, you know.”

Nobody can argue with that.

“He’s very professional,” Koki speaks up. “All the girls he’s worked with say that he’s always made it easy and comfortable for them.”

“After this, we can add Akanishi to that list,” Junno comments, snickering affectionately.

He gets the finger too, but it’s half-hearted.

“Don’t worry,” says Nakamaru gently, and Jin’s known he’s always liked that guy. “It’s no worse than what we’ve done on stage.”

It’s almost depressing how much of a point he has.

::

Kuroki Meisa greets them on the first day of filming, looking less like a nun and more like a hot piece of ass.

“Let’s work well together!” she says, more to Jin than Yamapi, who laughs when Jin clearly has no idea why she’s here. “I play your girlfriend,” she goes on slowly, like she’s talking to a child. “You know, before you get all gay for Yamashita.”

Jin doesn’t like her already. He reaches for his script, but she beats him to it.

“We have three kissing scenes,” she tells him. “One of which is kind of a rough sex scene. And if you so much as bruise me, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Let’s work well together,” Jin says flatly, bowing his head out of habit and rushing to the bathroom.

Yamapi and Meisa pay no attention to him as they talk about Maki’s latest drama.

::

Jin calls Kame on break, and it takes the entire length of Jin’s cigarette for Kame to stop laughing at him.

“Let me get this straight,” he finally says, struggling to catch his breath. “You’re playing an _actor_ who gets cast in a BL drama with his _rival_?”

“Yeah, so,” Jin responds irritably, lighting up a second.

Kame laughs again, and after an entire minute Jin finally hangs up on him.

::

“So, Akanishi-san,” the reporter asks sweetly. “What’s it like to work with your best friend?”

Jin smiles despite his anxiety about this interview. “It’s great, actually,” he says, knowing Yamapi will laugh at how _surprised_ he sounds. “We’re only on the second day, but he’s very pleasant to work with and he has the kind of attitude that keeps everybody’s morale up no matter what.”

“Is it awkward at all?” she asks.

Jin clears his throat. “Not yet,” he answers honestly. “But like I said, we’re only on Day Two.”

“Yamashita said that he was looking forward to co-starring with you on this project,” she goes on. “Do you feel the same way?”

The underlying question rings loud and clear – _Would you rather it have been someone else_? – and Jin doesn’t even have to think before responding.

“Definitely.”

::

“You are the worst kisser I have ever had,” Meisa declares very loudly in front of the entire cast and staff.

Jin’s too shocked to respond, his eyes immediately gravitating to Yamapi for help.

“Oh, give him a break,” Yamapi calls out from where he’s pulling his shirt back over his head after yet another topless scene. “This is only his second time.”

A chuckle ripples through the crowd, and Jin can feel his face burning. “You don’t have to say it like that,” he mumbles.

Meisa takes pity on him. “Akanishi-kun, I’m supposed to be your girlfriend. Keisuke is just starting to feel something towards Harito, so wouldn’t he want to prove to himself how much he likes women?”

Jin thinks about this from a professional standpoint. When that doesn’t work, he thinks about it from a personal standpoint. “Right, got it. Thank you.”

“Also,” she goes on. “I don’t like the smoke. Can you please not do it right before our scenes?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Jin says quickly. “I’ll go get a mint right now.”

She nods her gratitude as he heads offstage for his bag, trying to look casual.

Yamapi’s sitting in a folding chair right next to him, looking entirely too amused. “I don’t mind the smoke,” he hisses.

Jin kicks his chair on the way back, then proceeds to take Meisa’s breath away.

Instead of looking impressed, Yamapi appears intrigued.

::

The inevitable Day Four gets postponed because Jin wakes up with a nasty case of the stomach flu.

“Somehow I’m offended,” Yamapi says when he shows up with crackers and jello. “Do we need to talk about this?”

Jin shakes his head before he retches again and Yamapi rushes to hold his hair back.

::

There’s a limited number of staff when Jin returns to the studio the next day. “Where is everyone?” he wonders out loud.

“Closed set,” Yamapi tells him, nearly making him jump out of his own skin because he hadn’t seen him there.

“Well that’s comforting,” Jin says, then trips over nothing and crashes into a row of chairs that make a lot of noise as they’re knocked down.

He’s immediately pulled up by hair. “Akanishi, if you’re drunk I swear to god I’ll-”

“What? No!” Jin screams, shoving Yamapi away from him and righting the chairs as he gets up. “I’m just fucking nervous, okay. I’m sorry I can’t be as Zen about this as you. It’s _weird_ , Pi.”

“Finally,” Yamapi says, sounding so relieved that Jin stops what he’s doing to look at him. “Finally it comes out. Why didn’t you say something before now?”

“I-I don’t know,” Jin admits. “I guess I was trying to prove to you that I’m a _professional_ too.”

Yamapi actually laughs. “I already know you’re not a professional. Come on.”

“Wait -” Jin starts, sputtering as Yamapi grabs his arm and pulls him down the hall (when did he get so strong?). “Where are we going?”

“To rehearse,” Yamapi replies, and Jin’s too dazed to think about what that means until they’re locked in the men’s room with Jin’s back against the wall. “You’re ruining this for me!” Yamapi yells in his face. “Don’t you understand that we’re not competing this time?”

It takes Jin an entire skipped breath to realize that Yamapi’s _in character_ ; in the time it took him to turn around, he has _become_ Harito Yuuta. Anyone who says Yamapi’s a bad actor has clearly never been pushed up against a wall by his character, Jin muses as he tries to remember who he is and what he’s supposed to be doing.

“‘That’s not it…'” Yamapi prompts him under his breath, not breaking character in the slightest.

“That’s not it at all!” Jin screams back, swallowing forcibly and ignoring how easy it is to fake a panic attack. ( _Kimura panics and pushes Harito away, but doesn’t let go._ ) “You piss me off,” he continues in a low voice as he shoves Yamapi across the room, one hand on his collar and the other one smacking the wall right next to his head.

There’s a quick flash of fear in Yamapi’s eyes, followed by something indescribable that Jin is pretty sure isn’t in the script. ( _Harito seethes and remains still._ ) “The only person you should be pissed off at is yourself, because you want it to be real.”

Jin smacks the wall again, tightening his hold on Yamapi’s neck as he bites his lip angrily and stares from one of Yamapi’s eyes to the other. “You have some nerve implying that I’m a fag, Harito.”

“Prove it then,” Yamapi demands, leaning up into Jin’s personal space so fast that Jin instinctively jumps away. Yamapi laughs and slouches against the wall. “A man who is comfortable with his sexuality wouldn’t have any problem with this scene.”

Jin’s shaking with rage, his hands making fists at his sides as he physically feels the effects of Yamapi’s mocking. ( _And the truth of his words._ ) In one swift motion, he grabs Yamapi by the face and presses their lips together, forgetting everything else in favor of Yamapi’s surprised gasp, lingering just long enough to suffice before prying himself away by pushing his hand against the wall.

He can’t see Yamapi’s face, just feel the quick, hot breaths against his cheek while his body remains completely motionless save for his chest heaving with every inhale. He hears Yamapi lick his lips and a shiver courses up his spine, unsure if it’s visible or not, not wanting to ask. Slowly he lets go of Yamapi’s jaw, his hand sliding down warm skin until it hangs by his side.

“Cut,” Yamapi says sternly, then stands straight and breathes deeply.

Jin looks at him incredulously, unable to choose his words.

“That was good,” Yamapi tells him, looking a little surprised. “You really got into your character right then.” He rubs at his throat. “The collar thing wasn’t in the script, though.”

Jin looks traitorously at his hand, which is still tingling. “I’m sorry, I just -” _got caught up in the moment_.

“No, it’s a good improv,” Yamapi interrupts. “The director will like that, I think. He seems to be leaning towards this whole dirty, forbidden love type of feeling anyway.”

Nodding, Jin struggles to calm down. “Yeah, okay. I’ll do it again when we film, then.”

Yamapi doesn’t respond right away, and when Jin reluctantly looks up, Yamapi is regarding him impressively. “I had no idea you were so passionate about acting, Jin,” he says. “You were really convincing just now.”

“Thanks,” Jin replies, smiling a little in embarrassment at being complimented like this.

“I’m grateful it’s you,” Yamapi goes on, earning Jin’s attention just in time to see him smile naturally. “With anyone else, I don’t think I would feel as comfortable.”

Jin’s not sure what to say to that, so he just nods and grunts his agreement.

“Okay,” Yamapi says decidedly, clapping Jin on the shoulder. “Let’s go out there and do it for real. Good luck.”

“Good luck,” Jin replies automatically, watching the door swing behind Yamapi as he realizes that it’s not acting he’s passionate about.

::

“You’re so stupid,” Ryo tells him. “I’m not even going to say it.”

“Thanks for that,” Jin replies, leaning back to see if Yamapi’s come out of the back room yet. “Please look forward to our drama when it airs.”

Ryo scoffs. “I’ve been here since the beginning, why do I have to wait until it’s on TV?”

::

On Day Seven, Kuroki Meisa is fully determined to make true on her words after their scene, but when she finds Jin outside with a cigarette in his shaky hand, she decides that the few bruises on her hips are nothing compared to the confusion and uncertainty in his eyes.

That night, Jin picks up the first girl who looks interested and fucks her in a back alley, too annoyed by her high-pitched moaning and the way her body feels all wrong under his fingertips to actually finish inside her. She drops to her knees and Jin closes his eyes, too drunk to feel any shame in the face that he envisions in her place as he finally comes.

::

Jin is praised on his acting from both the director and Yamapi as he responds perfectly to all of Yamapi’s advances – Yamapi’s _character’s_ advances, that is. Not only for their characters but their character’s characters, who are very clearly in love in their drama-within-a-drama. It means a lot of switching back and forth between doting and loathing, which would ordinarily make Jin’s head spin from the complexity but seems to come naturally.

Kimura and Harito’s characters are Yamaguchi and Satou, two ordinary salarymen who grew up together and are now searching for their soulmates. Of course they are each other’s, but it takes a lot of failed attempts with a bunch of actresses Jin’s never heard of for them to realize it.

The first time Yamaguchi and Satou kiss, it’s in the rain under a shared umbrella and it takes several takes from Kimura and Harito to get it right. Since they are both renowned actors, they are constantly trying to out-do each other in a way that proves rather entertaining when they have to pretend to be in love. After getting scolded by the director, they finally do what they do best and play the part.

 

Jin thinks he’s an expert on the shape and texture of Yamapi’s lips by the time they finally finish the scene. Especially since he was concentrating so hard on them that he forgot his next line.

Fortunately, that’s in the script.

::

“One day left!” Yamapi declares happily, throwing an arm around Jin as they wrap for the day. “Are you ready for tomorrow’s big scene?”

Jin tries not to think about it. Clearly their _real_ director is sadistic and saved the best for last, the scene where Kimura and Harito finally give in to their desires and have a PG-13 rated love scene. The only part Jin is looking forward to is being the one on top, at least until the camera pans away.

“Sure,” he says nonchalantly. If anything he’s learned a _lot_ about acting from this project.

Yamapi grins, squeezing his shoulders as Jin notices how much closer they’ve become. Not that they’ve never walked like this before, just… maybe he’s become more aware of these things. Every time Yamapi touches him, no matter how or why, Jin’s focus is immediately on that part of his body and it takes a second for his brain to catch up with what’s really going on. Lucky for him, that’s exactly how Kimura is supposed to behaving.

He’s pretty sure that he’s not so much acting as _reacting_ , and he decides not to dwell on it in favor of it working out in his favor.

::

The next day, the only thing he remembers is falling off the bed when he hears “cut!” because Yamapi whoops loudly right in his ear.

It’s over, he should be happy, but Jin feels a pain in his heart that he can’t really define. It has something to do with the way Yamapi trembled under his touch when Kimura and Harito came together. Jin’s hand latched onto Yamapi’s side, sneaking under his shirt to touch flesh that involuntarily shuddered. Not even the best actor could force that, unless Yamapi was just _that_ into his character that for that small period of time, he really was in love with Jin.

Thinking about it was complicated. Jin much preferred the unabashed shower wanks where he picks up from where they left off in his mind, Yamapi continuing to tremble under him as he removes their clothes and rubs against him with nothing between them. Jin’s long since given up on suppressing these thoughts, finding that indulging them leaves him much more relaxed and ready to face the harsh reality of _his_ world, where he’s Akanishi Jin and not Kimura Keisuke.

He doesn’t watch the SP when it airs, but he does get a mail from Kame that says “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were really in love with him,” which Jin takes as a compliment.

::

There’s an air of respect surrounding him when he returns to work, an unexpected one that has him a little uneasy.

“What’s going on?” he asks as he stands in the middle of the KAT-TUN practice room while five pairs of eyes just stare at him.

Koki’s the first to speak – predictably. “I don’t know what to say. I feel like I watched a private video last night.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Nakamaru agrees. “Like we weren’t meant to see it.”

“Poor Yamashita,” Ueda comments. “It looked like you were eating his face.”

Jin narrows his eyes, but Kame beats him. “It was good, Jin. Good job.”

“Yeah, good job,” the others mumble, still looking at him like they don’t quite know who he is.

“Thanks,” he replies, feeling his cheeks get warm at the very rare positive recognition. “And for the record, Koki, I don’t have any _private_ videos.”

Koki laughs and slaps Jin on the arm, lounging on him as they go over their next appearance.

Jin feels nothing, and that’s when it clicks in his head.

::

Yamapi’s on tour with NewS, going more overboard with the fanservice than usual during the MC when Ryo and Koyama whine about Yamapi kissing Jin and not them. Jin’s initial fury subsides as Yamapi chases them around the stage, being denied at every last second like five games of gay chicken that have the fans screaming themselves hoarse.

Jin stands on the sidelines, locking eyes with Ryo as the latter smirks and conspicuously waves for him to come out. He walks with practiced strides, head held high as he is more concerned with Yamapi’s reaction than the crowd’s, which has now grown to deafening volumes.

It doesn’t help that he’s a little dressed up for someone who’s just crashing a friend’s concert – he vaguely remembers wearing this type outfit on stage before, low-cut shirt and billowy dance pants, his hair pulled back in a ponytail. Maybe there were more sparkles the first time, he’s not sure.

Shige’s ready with his camera phone when Yamapi turns around, catching his quick look of shock before he snaps right back into whatever character he is today. Jin smirks and puts his hands on his hips expectedly, waiting for his introduction while he sees Tegoshi falling over in laughter out of the corner of his eye.

“Kimura!” Yamapi roars. “Are you stalking me now?”

“You wish,” Jin replies smugly, his words clear even without a microphone.

There’s a tap on his shoulder, and he turns to see Massu offering his mic. Jin always did like that one, nodding his thanks as he accepts.

“Actually, Yuuta-kun,” Jin starts, pausing as the audience goes crazy over his voice. “I couldn’t get the taste of you out of my mind.”

Ryo cracks next, clapping his amusement as he joins Tegoshi on the floor. He offers two thumbs-up as Yamapi blinks rapidly and stalls.

“Well,” he finally says. “I don’t know how to respond to that.”

“That’s because _I win_ ,” Jin says, offering his best grin as he folds his arms satisfactorily.

He didn’t think Yamapi would be one to be outdone in his own concert, and he’s right – not even a beat later, Yamapi’s racing across the stage and pinning Jin to the floor, hovering over him with a determination in his eyes that Jin hasn’t seen for a very, very long time.

Of course, the last time it was over cake, but somehow it seems appropriate to witness again now.

“You’re not doing it right, Leader!” Koyama hollers as he jogs over to them. “You have to be sitting on him.”

Jin is very aware of the way Yamapi’s eyes widen when Koyama pushes him down. To cover, Jin brings the microphone to his mouth and says, “Isn’t this backwards?”

Yamapi flashes him a grateful look before plastering on his own smirk. “No, I don’t think so,” he replies, biting back his laughter at the way the audience is clearly on his side.

Then they start chanting “kiss! kiss!” – rightfully led by Ryo and Koyama – and Jin licks his lips expectantly. It seems like nothing now, despite the loud beating of his heart that he bets Yamapi can hear because this time they’re Jin and Yamapi, not Kimura and Harito or Yamaguchi and Satou.

Yamapi takes this time leaning down, his eyelids fluttering in a completely forced way that has Jin laughing until he feels Yamapi’s lips on his… nose.

“Tease!” Ryo yells, and Jin gives him the finger as Yamapi casually hops up and offers Jin a hand.

Jin gets to his feet and purposely rubs his nose. Yamapi laughs as they launch into a song that Jin doesn’t know and walks him around the stage, lacing their fingers together on the way. Jin doesn’t even try to hide the stupid smile that forms on his face because he’s not ashamed of anything anymore.

“KAT-TUN’s Akanishi Jin,” Yamapi finally introduces him at a lull in the song.

Jin waves with his free hand and leans over into Yamapi’s microphone. “I love NewS!” he screams.

“NewS loves you too!” Ryo screams back in a shrill voice. “On some days.”

Jin starts to frown, but then Yamapi’s hissing in his ear. “Sing with me.”

“I don’t know this song,” Jin replies honestly.

“You know the next one,” Yamapi says, flashing a smile right before they launch into Summary.

“Let’s go without turning back to that distant future,” they sing together. “We’ll be time travelers who transport our big dreams.”

When Yamapi finally lets go of his hand, he feels like something is missing.

::

Nothing changes, but everything’s changed at the same time. Jin’s not sure what happened except that maybe _he’s_ the one who has changed; every time he stops to think about it, it all falls down on him. Yamapi seems unfazed by anything, even when he lets his head fall on Jin’s shoulder as they watch a movie and Jin jerks on impulse.

“God, you’re stupid,” Ryo says again the next weekend, conveniently when Yamapi leaves go to get some last-minute ingredients for dinner.

Jin ignores him and keeps cooking, but only because he understands what Ryo means this time.

::

“I miss you,” Yamapi says months later. “Are you really too busy for me?”

Jin really is, his recent success with _When Rivalry Blossoms_ leading him to be offered drama after drama in addition to his group’s regularly-scheduled popularity. “I’m sorry, I’ll make time soon. I miss you too.”

He’s touching the window as he speaks into his phone, staring out into the rainy night on location while sleep threatens to overtake him. He thinks of Yamaguchi and Satou and their shared umbrella, how they didn’t have any crazy obligations or images to uphold. They could kiss in public with no consequence except maybe a few dirty looks, a passing glance that wouldn’t result in a camera flash and the cover of a tabloid.

Not for the first time in his life, Jin finds himself jealous of regular people, although it’s the first time it’s not because of his own selfishness.

“I love you,” he says to the dial tone, and then sleeps soundly for the first time in years.

::

“Akanishi-kun has been behaving differently,” Nakamaru says into his microphone, turning the attention to Jin while their faithful fans watch curiously from the audience.

“Um,” Jin says. “Maybe I finally grew up?”

“That’s not possible,” says Ueda, and they laugh.

“Shouldn’t you be an adult already?” Koki asks. “You’re twenty-four!”

“Twenty-five,” Jin corrects.

“Old man,” Kame calls out affectionately.

It’s not until they’re offstage that Kame pulls him aside. “It’s nice to see you _finally_ taking something seriously, whatever it is.”

Jin stares at him and thinks of Yamapi. “I guess I have been doing that.”

“Keep it up – it looks good on you,” Kame tells him, then disappears.

::

Yamapi hugs him for what feels like an hour when they finally get a chance to meet, fitting perfectly into Jin’s arms that squeeze back just as tightly.

“Too long,” Yamapi mumbles. “Don’t go that long without seeing me, _ever_.”

“Okay,” Jin replies automatically, in no rush to let go and disappointed when Yamapi ultimately does. “You’re too skinny,” is all he says.

Yamapi laughs, patting the hard abs of his belly. “That time of the year again.”

Jin frowns in disapproval, but as usual there’s nothing he can do about it. “So how have you been?”

“Not as well as you,” Yamapi replies, tilting his head to look at Jin sympathetically. “Congratulations, I think you’re more in-demand than me right now.”

Jin chuckles. “It was never a contest…” he trails off, then sighs. “It’s because of you, you know. You helped me with my acting skills and… stuff.”

“In that case, I’m not jealous,” Yamapi says with what looks like an exasperated smile. “I’m proud of you, Jin.”

Jin’s heart immediately swells, but it hurts at the same time. “You shouldn’t be.”

“Why is that?” Yamapi asks, his eyes falling shut.

“Never mind,” Jin tells him, and Yamapi starts to protest as he drifts off to sleep. “It’s not important right now.”

“Mm,” Yamapi says, once again resting his head on Jin’s shoulder, only this time Jin wraps an arm around him, allowing the younger man to curl up into his embrace and sleep peacefully.

“I love you,” Jin whispers, half-asleep himself, his senses overloaded by Yamapi so close to him and feeling like he wants to cry because _he’s not awake to hear it_. “I wish I could tell you normally.”

Yamapi shifts and stretches an arm around Jin’s waist, holding him close and muttering something incoherent.

“What?” Jin asks in a panic, every nerve in his body focused on Yamapi’s level of consciousness.

It looks like it takes all of Yamapi’s strength to lift his head. “I said ‘about time’.”

Jin opens his mouth, then closes it. This happens three more times before Yamapi leans up and kisses him. It’s just like before, only with a lot of pull on Yamapi’s side because he’s fighting the sleep demons. As it is, Jin’s just parted his lips when Yamapi gives up and falls back to Jin’s shoulder.

“I’ve always loved you, Jin,” he says softly. “Can we freak out about it in the morning?”

“I have filming tomorrow,” Jin replies, his heart beating madly. “I have to be there by ten and it takes three hours by train.”

Yamapi groans. “I really can’t stay awake for one more second.” He reaches for Jin’s hand and laces their fingers together. “This will have to do for now.”

Jin can’t stop himself from kissing the sleeping Yamapi’s forehead and any part of his face he can reach. “I’ll wait,” he whispers. “As long as it takes.”

Yamapi snores lightly but doesn’t let go as Jin carries him to his bedroom.

::

Jin’s anxiety increases over the next couple weeks, ceasing whenever Yamapi mails him but going back up with each day he doesn’t hear anything.

“You’re acting like a teenage girl,” Nakamaru tells him helpfully. “He’s not ignoring you – he’s just busy.”

“I know that,” Jin snaps, then realizes who he’s talking to. “Wait, what do you know about that?”

Nakamaru stares at him blankly. “Give me some credit, please?”

Jin rolls his eyes. “Am I that obvious?”

“Yes,” chorus five voices.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Ueda speaks up, “none of us are surprised.”

“Even Taguchi,” Koki adds.

Junno nods in agreement.

Jin hangs his head in his hands.

“For what it’s worth,” Kame says quietly. “I’m happy for you.”

None of them see the stupid grin form on Jin’s face.

::

A bouquet of flowers greets Jin at the door, followed by a very upscale-dressed Yamapi. Jin’s more concerned with the sharp suit and tie the other is wearing than the flowers that are being shoved in his face.

“Will you stop ogling me and take them?” Yamapi says with a smirk.

“I am not _ogling_ you,” Jin replies, accepting the flowers. “And who decided that I’m the girlfriend here?”

Yamapi looks around the inside of Jin’s apartment. “I don’t see _you_ getting _me_ any flowers.”

Jin scoffs, then nearly drops the bouquet as Yamapi grabs him by the waist and kisses him, pressing him up against the breakfast bar before Jin can remember how to breathe. The flowers remain in hand as he wraps his arms around Yamapi’s neck, getting lost in the scent of Yamapi’s cologne and the taste of his tongue that sneaks past Jin’s lips and has him making an embarrassing noise in the back of his throat.

All too soon it’s gone, and Jin is left breathless and barely standing. “You’re definitely the girlfriend,” Yamapi comments, ignoring Jin’s half-hearted swat to the arm. “Now that that’s over with…”

Jin laughs. “It seems a little too late to freak out about it now.”

“Very anti-climatic,” Yamapi agrees. “But I’ll say it anyway – I’ve wanted to kiss you like that for _so long_.”

“How long?” Jin asks, curling one leg around Yamapi’s to pull him closer and brush their lips together again.

“Doesn’t matter,” Yamapi replies, tilting his head for another kiss. “Let’s go.”

“Wait, what?” Jin says distractedly, holding onto Yamapi’s collar as the latter tries to pull away. “We have to go _now_?”

“We are going on a proper date, Jin,” Yamapi insists. “I promised my mother I wouldn’t go straight to bed.”

“Your _real_ mother or Koyama?” Jin asks knowingly.

“Both,” Yamapi admits as he pries Jin’s hands away.

Jin abruptly stops protesting. “You told your mom about me?”

“Idiot,” Yamapi says affectionately. “She knew before I did.”

“Pi.” Jin pauses until Yamapi raises his eyes to meet his. “How long?”

Yamapi reaches for his hand and stares at their fingers as they automatically weave together. “Don’t worry about that, okay? We’re here now.”

Jin sighs, but lets it go. “Am I underdressed?” he asks instead, pulling at the collar of his solid button-down shirt. “I could go put on a tie.”

“You’re perfect,” Yamapi says right away, then blushes. “I mean, we’re not going anywhere high class or anything. You look good.”

“You look better,” Jin replies, taking Yamapi’s tie between his fingers.

Yamapi fixes him with a pointed look. “Does everything have to be a competition with you?”

Jin smirks. “It does now.”

 

> ::bonus::

Yamapi forgets his name, his phone number, his address, everything but Jin as their mouths devour each other the absolute second they return to Jin’s apartment after dinner and a movie. He can’t even remember what they ate or what the movie was about, only how Jin tastes now and how much he’s anticipating what’s going to happen when he manages to maneuver them to Jin’s bedroom.

Jin starts to chuckle at Yamapi’s forwardness, then seems to realize that he’s _serious_ and goes straight for Yamapi’s tie, gently unfastening it before they’re even done kicking off their shoes. “Pi,” he gasps into Yamapi’s mouth, which just makes Yamapi kiss him harder until Jin’s clutching onto him helplessly.

Miraculously they make it to Jin’s bed, shedding clothing on the way like a pair of snakes, their bodies hard and instinctively moving together as there become less and less barriers between them. Yamapi moans at the first contact of flesh against flesh, only a little surprised when Jin tears his mouth away to do the same.

“How are we going to do this?” Jin asks.

Yamapi curses as he slows down. “I guess we should have figured this out before now.”

“Since you brought me flowers, it’s only right that I do you,” Jin says breathlessly. “It’s fair.”

“Hey, wait a-” Yamapi starts, but then he’s on his back with Jin on top of him and there’s really no fight left in him.

“You can do me next time,” Jin whispers, leaning down to kiss the smile that forms on Yamapi’s face because there _will_ be a next time, unlike all of the ones he’s had before. This realization makes his legs spread, and Jin falls perfectly between them like he’s meant to be there.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” Yamapi asks frantically, terrified that Jin will just try to do it without any precautions.

“Not at all,” Jin admits, continuing to roll his hips to slide his erection right against Yamapi’s. “This feels good though.”

“Yeah,” Yamapi replies, his concerns slowly dissipating with each undulation. He vaguely remembers that he needs to tell Jin something, but it must not be that important if he can’t recall what it is.

“Aren’t you going to tell me what to do?” Jin prods him, making his eyes fly open with recognition. “Pi?”

“Sorry.” Yamapi manages to reach his nightstand drawer and finds what he’s looking for. “Do you want to use a condom?”

Jin halts his motions. “Should I?”

“Probably,” Yamapi replies bluntly. “Just because, you know, mess and stuff.”

Jin snorts. “That is so romantic.”

“Shut up,” Yamapi mumbles, blindly seeking out Jin’s mouth before he can get embarrassed. This kiss is much more languid, tongues slowly swirling together as Yamapi has enough mind to take one of Jin’s hands and coat three of his fingers with lubricant.

“I think I can figure it out from here,” Jin whispers against his lips, slipping his hand between them and slowly approaching Yamapi’s opening.

Yamapi arches, his body trembling in a kind of anticipation he hasn’t experienced before. His breathing comes quick and scattered, his fingers latching onto Jin’s arms for some semblance of gravity.

“Relax,” Jin says in a rushed tone as he rubs against Yamapi again. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Do it,” Yamapi tells him, his voice deeper than he remembers it being before. “The suspense is killing me.”

His body calms down as soon as Jin’s finger presses inside him, his legs automatically rising to accommodate while his brain is focused on the way Jin’s breath hitches at whatever he’s feeling. All Yamapi feels is discomfort, at least until Jin starts moving his finger around and rocks against him once more.

“More,” Yamapi gasps, unsure of what he’s searching for but knowing that it’s _something_ ; his body wouldn’t be pushing back otherwise, acting of its own will while his head falls back as far as it can.

“You should see yourself right now,” Jin mumbles into his neck, dragging his lips along the skin. “So hot.”

“More,” Yamapi says again, and Jin immediately follows with a second finger. “Jin…”

“I know,” Jin says comfortingly as he moves his fingers around, grazing along a spot that has Yamapi moaning and rocking his entire body to hit it again. “What was that? Pi?”

In response, Yamapi grabs him by the hair and fuses their mouths together, not even trying to hold back his feelings as the entirety of his mind leaves him in favor of Jin’s tongue and whatever button Jin’s pushing inside him.

“God, Pi,” Jin moans, adding a third finger while Yamapi continues to arch and shudder beneath him. “Let me be inside you.”

It takes him a minute to notice Yamapi nodding frantically, unable to speak or even breathe as he puts all of his trust into Jin and loses control completely. He hears Jin rip open the condom packet and gasp as he coats himself, then the fingers are gone and something much bigger is pressing between his legs.

“Okay?” Jin asks anxiously, half worried and half excited as Yamapi nods again, his legs rising even more as Jin pushes inside. “Oh fuck, oh fuck, Yamapi, it’s too tight. Too much.”

“Jin,” Yamapi manages to say, his whole focus on how his body keeps squeezing around Jin’s hard length deep inside him.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jin hisses, reaching down to touch Yamapi’s face. “You okay?”

Instead of nodding once more, Yamapi uses his abs to rock up and cries out at the resulting sensation. “Right there,” he sputters. “Come on, Jin.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice, starting off slowly but sharply, resorting Yamapi to moaning with each exhale as that spot gets rubbed almost every time. His voice rises as Jin goes faster, his own desperate moans mixing with Yamapi’s as their skin slaps together and becomes slick with sweat.

“Jin,” Yamapi wheezes, reaching out with both hands until Jin sees him and leans down. “Touch me.”

He feels Jin’s soft hair under his fingertips just before Jin’s hand wraps around him and his arousal soars. He pulls himself up as much as he can and rocks into Jin’s thrusts, the contrast of Jin hard inside him and tight around him becoming too much for him to do anything except flop back onto the bed, twisting his fingers in Jin’s hair as his body is inescapably taken over by orgasm.

Jin’s wail matches his, fingers firm on his hips as he thrusts twice more and stills. The way he quickly pulls out and disposes of the condom seems habitual, and Yamapi’s eyes fly open in fear that he was wrong about this, about Jin.

“That can’t be comfortable,” Jin says breathlessly, gently rubbing Yamapi’s thighs until both of his legs lower completely. “What’s that look for?”

“Nothing,” Yamapi mumbles as he relaxes. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jin says genuinely. “I’m so glad I finally said it.”

“Hrmph,” Yamapi mumbles, but he lets Jin think what he wants.


End file.
